anger deleted

I’m am the most angry that anger is so hard for me to conjure up. I know I need to experience it so I can get on my merry way and over this grief. I just cry and cry and never get mad. I feel like most people are the opposite.

I sometimes wish it could all be my fault so I could avoid being angry at anyone besides myself…oh hello fawn.

Fawn is the threat response that comes as a last ditch effort when fight (anger) gets shamed out of you as a child. For survival you self abandon, forget you have needs, and become a people pleasing co-dependent. Anger has been inside me for years against all mother figures but internalized anger becomes depression. I stay stuck.

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